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Give yourself 1 point for each correct answer. Let's see just how smart you are.

1. Yes Indeed, there is a 4th of July in England. .........There is also a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, of July.

2. The average man has ONE birthday. .................... You can only be born once. 

3. The answer is 12.  ...............................................All months have at least 28 days

4. The beggar is also a woman, ................................ beggar is the woman's sister, not her brother. ..

5. If a man is LIVING in the USA, ................................why on earth would you bury him?

6. The answer is 6 outs............................................ There are 3 outs for the home team and three outs for the visiting team. No arguments about the ninth inning here folks. NO points if you said 3!

7. No ... it is not legal for a man to marry his widow's sister no matter where he lives. In order to even HAVE a widow, the guy would have to be dead. If you got this one wrong, not only are you an idiot, but you're also morbid!

8. The two men each win the same number of games because they aren't playing each other. .....Gotcha, didn't I?

9. The answer is 70....................................... Dividing 30 by 1/2 is the same as multiplying 30 by 2. Then you add ten. Take some Ginko Biloba to improve your memory of basic math if you blew this one ....

10. The bear is white of course. ..................If all four sides have a southern exposure, the only place the house could be is at the North Pole. So obviously, it's a polar bear. Take more Ginko Biloba if you forgot your basic geography too ...

                             You're half way through now. How ya doin?
              Feeling like an idiot? Uh ohhh ...need to look at the test again?

11. The answer is two. ................You took away two, so that's what you've got, right? Sure! We didn't ask you how many the other guy had left. Duh!! ....

12. A 50 cent piece and a nickel...................... One of them is not a nickel (it's a 50 cent piece) but the other one is.         

13. You light the MATCH first.............................. ...idjit ...

14. Half way of course. ................................................When the dog gets to the half way point, if he keeps running, he is then running OUT of the woods.

15. The answer is one hour. ...............................You would take the first pill right away, the second a half hour later, and the third a half hour after that. The moment you took the third pill, you wouldn't have anymore.

16. The answer is 9. ..............................Read the question again. ALL BUT 9 DIE. Not paying attention, are you ....

17. The answer is NONE!......................... Moses didn't take animals anywhere. That was Noah.

18. The answer is MEAT........................... What else would butchers be weighing?

19. There are 12 two cent stamps in a dozen. There are 12 of anything in one dozen.......... Idiot ....

20. Well, George Bush of course ...


Now ... Score your Test

Don't worry .. nobody's looking and we haven't kept a copy of your score on file.

# Of Correct Answers Your Results
18-20 You're a genius, but you're probably also at least a nerd. You probably have no friends and are hanging out surfing the net for company.
16-17 You're above normal. You probably have one or two friends. Problem is, they're just like you and you're completely bored with each other. Visiting this web site is your sicko way of having fun.
9-15 You're pretty normal. You probably have a whole bunch of friends that keep you thinking, doing, and going to the bathroom regular. You're the type that probably knows a bunch of good fart stories. 
7-8 You're a little on the dull side. You haven't qualified to be a total idiot, but with practice, you could get there. Visit this web site once a day for three weeks and take the test again.
4-6 You're more than just a little dull. You're actually a borderline moron or you have a real bad case of ADD and just weren't paying attention. Go get some St. John's Wort and then come back in 30 days to take the test again.
0-3 Congratulations! You're a total idiot! You also qualify to call yourself moron, bozo, stupid, or nincompoop. You can also use adjectives like blazing idiot, flaming idiot, total idiot.  
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