American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion the 
following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of 
alcohol containers:
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the 
hell happened to your bra and panties.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are 
whispering when you are not.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing 
like a retard.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends 
over and over again you love them.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
sing.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers 
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically 
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of 
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion you are 
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people 
are laughing with you.

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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WARNING: the konsumshun of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe 
reel gude.

coleman